Werewolf Winter: The Howling (1981)

1981 was apparently the year for werewolf films that reference the 1941 The Wolf Man in detail and also have groundbreaking special effects. In fact, Rick Baker, who was originally hired and started planning the effects for The Howling, actually left the production to go work on An American Werewolf in London. I already thought that John Landis's film was clever and well done. So, how does The Howling stack up?

Werewolf Winter: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

It's amazing what time can do for the horror movie genre. Forty years after The Wolf Man and twenty years after Curse of the Werewolf, Universal Films released yet another werewolf film: An American Werewolf in London. This film seems to be the last werewolf film Universal (knowingly or unknowingly) released in perfect 20 year increments, but at least it's amazing enough to hold us over...

Werewolf Winter: The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

After the last disaster of a werewolf movie, I waited with baited breath as the opening credits for The Curse of the Werewolf began to roll. Then I saw two phrases in blocky text: Hammer Studios and Universal Pictures. Oh, my excellent good friends! I gave a big sigh of relief because surely these two companies would know how to combine their powers for a good werewolf film.

Werewolf Winter: I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

Wow. Just.... wow. If the original The Wolf Man was much better than I had expected, the 1950's B-movie classic I Was a Teenage Werewolf is so, so much worse.

Werewolf Winter: The Wolf Man (1941)

To begin this new series of reviews, we're starting with the Universal Studios classic: The Wolf Man. I had never seen this film before, though I am well acquainted with both Universal's Dracula and their influential but badly adapted Frankenstein, so I was prepared for a solid movie that felt a bit dated and obvious, something clearly a product of its time.

I have never been more happy to be mistaken! With powerful acting from both Bela Lugosi and Lon Chaney Jr. (son of the famous silent film actor), as well as a slow build of tension and mood, The Wolf Man is by far the most elegant of the Universal monster films and one which holds up quite well today.

Welcome to Werewolf Winter

The vampire countdown is officially over! While I will definitely still be reviewing and watching more vampire films in the future, 'tis the season for a different type of fanged film star.

With the popularity of the Twilight and Underworld sagas, the rivalry between vampires and werewolves have come back into fashion. I've never really been "into" werewolves myself; I remember reading a novel by Anne Rice's sister about werewolves when I was a teenager and not being overly thrilled. But not too long ago I watched the painfully mediocre Netflix series Hemlock Grove and found myself liking the werewolf story line above all else. It didn't hurt that Eli Roth developed a gruesome, amazing, and horrifying transformation scene:

So, in the season where the weather is cold and frightful (and the fire inside is so delightful), I thought I'd see what film history has given us in the werewolf genre. Once again, I'll be selecting about 20 films, and there are rules.

1. The Addiction (1995)

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you all thankful for? Well I, for one, am thankful for the strangest and most interesting vampire movie I've seen yet: The Addiction.

Do I have a hickey?

2. Perfect Creature (2006)

Steampunk. Alternate History. Conspiracies. A murder mystery. A vampire religious order. Yes please!

Today is Bram Stoker's birthday and to celebrate we're going to look at the most unique film on this countdown list, and one which actually doesn't mention the word "vampire" once. This is Perfect Creature.

3. Vampires (2010)

As we reach the final films in our countdown, it becomes clearer than ever that I'm a sucker for unique ideas. Show me the same Dracula-esque plot a thousand times and you'll catch me yawning no matter how good a variation ends up being. But show me something I've never ever seen before, and I'll forgive some stumbles. Which brings me to the greatest idea that I can't believe no one thought of sooner: the vampire mockumentary.

4. Vamps (2012)

I hope everyone had a very Happy Halloween! Now back to your regularly scheduled countdown. Oh dear... okay, this movie is embarrassingly high on my countdown despite io9 calling the film "a disaster" and it earning a questionable 50% on RottenTomatoes. However, let me just form my fingers into the shape a 'W' (yes, Clueless style) and say: "Whatever..."

You see, I grew up in the late eighties and early nineties, and I currently work with adolescents who were born after the year 2000. What I'm saying is that Amy Heckerling's Vamps is a charming movie that is pretty much made with me as the target audience. The film just makes it impossible for me not to love it.

Review: NBC's Dracula (Ep. 1)

I have to give credit to the universe - it has a sense of humor! After all, just two months ago I said that "to a certain extent" a Dracula story is a Dracula story and that they're all fairly equivalent and "just variations of the same formula."

Well, yesterday NBC aired the first episode in their Dracula 10-episode mini-series. And let me tell you, it takes the formula, shoves it on a pike, and then dresses it up in lace and ribbons and names it Sally. Or something. In other words, NBC's Dracula is absolutely insane. And... I think it may be a lot of fun.

Review: Vassalord (2013)

We take a break this countdown to talk about the strangest piece of vampire media I probably have ever come across. Would you guess it's from Japan?

5. Wir sind die Nacht (2010)

Imagine a vampire movie with a combination of aesthetics like Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Mean Girls, and maybe The Transporter. The stunningly gorgeous and confusing result would likely be the German film Wir sind die Nacht, translated in English as We Are the Night.

6. Near Dark (1987)

Have you ever procrastinated on watching a movie and then realized that you have no idea why you were putting it off? That was my experience with Near Dark. I had heard that the film was "pretty great" for ages, but the concept of roaming white-trash vampires (which is the way someone had pitched it to me) made me bristle at watching it. I think I imagined this:

From Pop-Periscope
And now you can't unsee Honey Boo Boo as Claudia. You're welcome. 

But the film turned out to be fun, clever, and a whole lot more.

7. Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Wait... what...? This is insane. I... I... I actually liked this movie? Behold the power of low expectations!

 If you take Vampire in Brooklyn for what it is (essentially a horror-comedy remake of Blacula for a new era) it's actually quite clever and enjoyable. I have to admit: I never would have guessed that Eddie Murphy as a vampire could be sexy or scary, and somehow he manages to be both.

9. Cronos (1993) and 8. Thirst (2009)

For the next part of the countdown, I feel like I have to talk about two films together. The films themselves are fairly different, but their contexts are strangely similar. They are both non-American "foreign" films. They both have titles consisting of only a single word. They are both intriguing and bizarre. And both are "pretty good" films by otherwise well known and visionary directors.

 

10. Blacula (1972)

I did not plan on reviewing the most notorious blaxploitation vampire film during the same week as the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech and the march on Washington... but, well, I guess here we are. This is Blacula.

11. Every Dracula Movie Ever

WELCOME TO THE GREAT DRACULA RUN-DOWN! 

Perhaps it seems like cheating, but to a certain extent I think that a Dracula movie is a Dracula movie is a Dracula movie. It's difficult to decide which one is "better" or "best."

With the exception of Warhol's Blood for Dracula, which completely threw Bram Stoker's plot out the window, or Coppola's Dracula movie, which made up a whole different history for Dracula's character, most films about the classic count are just variations of the same formula. So, instead of separating them into several short entries, I've decided that the Dracula films I watched for this list are all #11, from the Hammer film series, to the 1979 "sexy" Dracula, to the insanity of Dracula 2000. But which one has the most... bite?

12. Kiss of the Damned (2013)

For the next movie in our countdown, we actually have a fairly recent... zzzzzzzzzzzzz... Huh? What? Sorry, I must have dozed off there. Where was I? Oh, right. The next movie is Kiss of the Damned, which just came out this year. It's a very pretty film and... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

13. Innocent Blood (1992)

Imagine that you are in a movie pitch meeting. "It's like The Godfather or Goodfellas," the producers say. "But more generic. We can't afford Robert deNiro or Al Pacino. But there are a ton of recognizable Italians in Hollywood who we can get for cheap! Like Robert Loggia!"

"Who?"

"He played an Italian mobster in the Pink Panther films. But we'll also get, like, half the cast of Wiseguys and the future cast of The Sopranos! And Anthony LaPaglia! He's Italian too!"

"Okay, well, it sounds like a thousand other mob movies, but that's okay. There's a market for that! People will know what to expect and I'm sure we'll..."

"But wait! THERE WILL ALSO BE A VAMPIRE!"

14. The Hunger (1983)

Oh, David Bowie, why do I keep falling for the same trap? You are awesome. We all know you are awesome. It is just a fact of the universe.

But you seem to have less than great taste when it comes to what movies you star in, sir. More specifically, you sometimes seem to confuse "artistic" with "horribly dull."

15. Underworld (2003)

Even if you haven't seen Underworld, you've basically seen Underworld. If you have ever seen a blockbuster movie with gaping logic holes and plot twists just for the sake of "edginess," then you've seen Underworld. If you have watched any action movie with stylistic slow-motion, leather jackets, and "futuristic" guns, then you've seen Underworld.  Underworld is The Matrix meets vampire movies, because it was the early 2000s and why not. So, sit back, grab your bucket of popcorn, your three movie-theater candies, and giant 32 oz. soda and strap in for the ride.

Quickpost: Honorable mentions

When I made my post Setting the Bar about my top choices of vampire movies, I went back and forth about #5 (Blade II). It is, honestly, a weak choice and one which had to do more with my love for some of the actors and the aesthetic of the first Blade movies. I still love it, but I realized that there were other options. In fact, three other movies in particular deserve a shout out...

16. Andy Warhol's Blood for Dracula (1974)

Are you tired of vampire films that are just about bloodsucking and the undead? Do you wish your watch list contained more unsubtle metaphors for communist uprisings? Do you wish films would just do away with those needless additions like "scripts" and "acting"? Well, then Andy Warhol's Blood for Dracula is the movie for you.

17. Queen of the Damned (2002)

I cannot express enough how sad I am that this movie exists. The fact that this was made at all makes me want to track down the people who were responsible for it, grab them by the shoulders, and shake them all while yelling, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!"

18. Fright Night (1985)

For me, the greatest sin for a vampire movie is dullness. It can have horrible special effects, cheesy writing, and even mediocre acting as long as, ultimately, it is interesting. If dullness is a sin,  Fright Night needs to go to confession.

19. Vampire's Kiss (1988)

There are only two reasons to watch Vampire's Kiss, as far as I can tell. One scenario might occur in the far future when your child or grandchild comes up to you, all starry-eyed and innocent, and asks, "Where do Nicolas Cage memes come from?" Then, you may wish to show him or her both this movie and The Wicker Man back to back (though that may actually be considered child-abuse, so be careful and check with a lawyer or specialist first).

The second reason to see this film, beyond meme context, is in order to see what TRULY bad casting can do to a movie.

20. The Brotherhood (2001)

Oh wow. Just... wow. This movie is BAD. It almost missed my cut-off by earning only 2.3 stars on Netflix, but I allowed it in the marathon because I remember this film sitting on the Blockbuster new release wall when I was in high school and people renting it. So, out of high school nostalgia, I added this one to my Netflix instant list. Be prepared to be amused and horrified...

Setting the Bar

In order for you, dear readers, to take me seriously as a critic (though why you would do that I have no idea), you probably need to know where I'm coming from and what my favorite vampire films have been thus far.

All right then, you (hypothetically) asked for it! Here are my top five favorite vampire films, counted down and reviewed.

The Beginning

It was a dark and stormy night... well, no. Actually, it was afternoon in the heat of Phoenix, AZ at the start of summer, and I had the urge to watch a vampire movie. I was all caught up on True Blood, had finished the mediocrity that was Hemlock Grove, and had already re-watched some of Angel and (ugh) Vampire Diaries recently. Television, therefore, was out. What film could possibly satisfy my sudden craving for a vampire film?

Apparently, I decided, all of them.

Thus began my quest to watch (almost) every vampire movie that I hadn't yet seen. This, perhaps, was a stupid and unimportant quest. But I work in education and it was summer; this is when stupid and unimportant things get done!