3. Vampires (2010)

As we reach the final films in our countdown, it becomes clearer than ever that I'm a sucker for unique ideas. Show me the same Dracula-esque plot a thousand times and you'll catch me yawning no matter how good a variation ends up being. But show me something I've never ever seen before, and I'll forgive some stumbles. Which brings me to the greatest idea that I can't believe no one thought of sooner: the vampire mockumentary.

This bizarre little 2010 film, simply titled Vampires, comes from Belgium, where the story is also mostly set, though it ultimately spans three countries. The film focuses on a vampire family: Georges, Bertha, and their children, Samson and Grace.

Just a normal teenage girl's... er... coffin-room?

The movie opens with standard documentary contextual information: white text on a black background explaining, "Three years ago, our crew was contracted to make a documentary about Belgium's vampire community." Once it becomes clear that the first crew didn't return and that the film we are watching is from the back-up (or back-up to the back-up) film crew, the dark humor of the film becomes pretty clear.

The story is nothing exciting; don't expect stunning action or daring stunts. Instead, this movie moves at a leisurely pace and features the vampire family as if they are a real documentary feature focus. The illusion rarely if ever broken, sometimes skipping over scenes which would be "cool" in favor of realistic story-telling.

The camera is often filming in low light, resulting in dim and grainy footage that adds to the illusion. We only get to know the characters slowly through "live" footage and family interviews. Therefore, the movie feels much more like a low-key reality show than it does a fictional film. So much so that (like many good mockumentaries) it is easy to forget how staged so much of it must have been.

The film also adds some small details which really give the film its uniqueness and charm. For example, we learn about the vampire school, hosted in a "real" grade-school after dark, where new vampires learn to feed... and practice on CPR dummies.

I don't know why I found that scene so funny, but I couldn't stop grinning as Samson tried over and over to find the CPR dummy's jugular and failed. It was just a quirky idea that I'd never seen done before. And the film is full of those: the teen vampire who wants to be human; keeping human servants as dinner "meat"; the rules about home ownership and vampire children; the difference in vampire/human interaction between countries. Director and co-writer Vincent Lannoo just creates such a bizarre world that seems strangely believable... even though it can't be... can it?

In all seriousness, Vampires can drag at times (the way many real relatively-slow-paced documentaries can) and there was an aspect of the ending that I found genuinely confusing. However, the overall pay off for such a weird, fun, and original idea is often worth it. Definitely a unique vampire movie and like nothing else that's come before it!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (real) bites