The Beginning

It was a dark and stormy night... well, no. Actually, it was afternoon in the heat of Phoenix, AZ at the start of summer, and I had the urge to watch a vampire movie. I was all caught up on True Blood, had finished the mediocrity that was Hemlock Grove, and had already re-watched some of Angel and (ugh) Vampire Diaries recently. Television, therefore, was out. What film could possibly satisfy my sudden craving for a vampire film?

Apparently, I decided, all of them.

Thus began my quest to watch (almost) every vampire movie that I hadn't yet seen. This, perhaps, was a stupid and unimportant quest. But I work in education and it was summer; this is when stupid and unimportant things get done!

I'm not sure why exactly I decided this should be a project for me.  Maybe it's just that I have loved vampire stories ever since I was in sixth grade reading Stroker's Dracula and Christopher Pike's The Last Vampire series (I was a middle schooler in the '90s; don't judge). Maybe this just was a chance to have some silly fun and feel young at heart (I work with teenagers; trust me that nothing makes you feel older than that).

So I set out on my quest. The question is: what to watch?

Ultimately, I decided that I would watch twenty vampire films from various countries and time periods.

WHAT I DIDN'T PICK

Some quick notes on what I did NOT put on the list.

1. I did not watch any films that spelled "vampires" with either a "y" or a "z" to show how "extreme" or "hip" it must be (see: Vampiyaz: Brothaz in Blood).

2. For my sanity's sake, I did not watch any film that earned less than 2 stars on Netflix (see: Vampiyaz: Brothaz in Blood and any number of examples of straight to video terribleness). This just seemed like good sense on my part...

3. I did not watch any movies where vampires acted as just post-apocalyptic stand-ins for zombies. There are a number of these. Both The Last Man on Earth and its remakes (Omega Man and I am Legend) are relatively good movies, but I don't consider them "vampire" movies in the traditional sense.

4. I did not watch any remakes, other than the various adaptations of Stoker's Dracula. I also didn't watch any film marketed towards children (or Twilight 'tweens).

5. Lastly, I also only watched what I could get my hands on via Redbox, Netflix, or the internet. This may seem obvious, but a friend of mine recommended Count Yorga and it sounded great... but I couldn't find it anywhere, and Hollywood Video and the like don't seem to exist anymore. Boo. So, yes, there may have been many that I missed.

With these guidelines, I gathered twenty films, old and new, about bloodsucking fiends and sexy counts. I'll be reviewing all twenty here and offering my reflections. I hope you enjoy this madness.

~ LK